Two hours of hard work by our resident Chef - A Tool, with some help from us Bums. The result was an amazingly tastyAuthentic Indian Dinner. Nobody was talking during the dinner, guess why? Burppppp - Did you get the answer :)?
Some interesting trivia about Indian food:
1) The Indian food changes as you travel within the country. Some smart ass dude said once - In India, if you travel 200 kilometers anywhich way - the people change, their clothing style change, and the most importantly - the food changes.
2) The Indian food is traditionally eaten with HANDS :). No spoons, No chopsticks, etc. However, this has changed now to some extent. A certain set of people in urban cities in India, use proper cutlery for eating Indian food. In restaurants, you may also find people using cutlery.
3) The Indian food is not always spicey, it depends on the type of food.
So this is the plan now, every saturday, we will have the feast on home-cooked Indian food. We have been able to stick to this plan for two weeks now. Let us see how it stays over the next few weeks :).
Tingu..
(An Indian in Shanghai)
Diamond was just another coal, which did well under pressure...
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Friday, May 18, 2007
"To Be or Not To Be" is the Question
Friends, Countrymen, and Women!!
I have not found the answer the question - what I want to be in my next birth? However, I have found the answer to the question - What I do not want to be in my next birth?
The answer is - A Squash Ball!!!!
Imagine the worst folks:
1) Someone beating the crap out of you by hitting you against the wall, again and again.
2) The first 2,000 shots are always one of the hardest. Why shall be next logical question for some of you smart folks (rest - just get your head back inside the sand). The answer is to 'Heat Up' the ball properly. So that it will have a good bounce and it gets ready.
3) Gets ready for what (rest- why do you even bother folks)? For another 20,000 shots sending the poor ball towards the wall again.
It seems just so cruel, poor ball being hit again and again. Being thrashed to expected oblivion.
But folks, as you would know - that the squash ball never gives up. It will never submit to the torture by animals, also know as 'humans'.
So here comes the moral of the story, doesn't matter how hard you get hit towards the wall and how many times. You should hold on and not break-down. If you achieve this, then only you are a man as good as the ball - squash ball. (Girls: I gotta get some lessons in anatomy, then I can say somthing about you all.)
Tingu
(Marriage is an institution, I have been trying to stay from it.)
I have not found the answer the question - what I want to be in my next birth? However, I have found the answer to the question - What I do not want to be in my next birth?
The answer is - A Squash Ball!!!!
Imagine the worst folks:
1) Someone beating the crap out of you by hitting you against the wall, again and again.
2) The first 2,000 shots are always one of the hardest. Why shall be next logical question for some of you smart folks (rest - just get your head back inside the sand). The answer is to 'Heat Up' the ball properly. So that it will have a good bounce and it gets ready.
3) Gets ready for what (rest- why do you even bother folks)? For another 20,000 shots sending the poor ball towards the wall again.
It seems just so cruel, poor ball being hit again and again. Being thrashed to expected oblivion.
But folks, as you would know - that the squash ball never gives up. It will never submit to the torture by animals, also know as 'humans'.
So here comes the moral of the story, doesn't matter how hard you get hit towards the wall and how many times. You should hold on and not break-down. If you achieve this, then only you are a man as good as the ball - squash ball. (Girls: I gotta get some lessons in anatomy, then I can say somthing about you all.)
Tingu
(Marriage is an institution, I have been trying to stay from it.)
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Mom, I'm ready for Marriage
After six months of delaying and making excuses, I finally went home, the god's own country : Kerala. Well, as much as I would like to praise this beautiful land, I just can't overlook the ironies of modern day Kerala. I mean, how can you explain, Keralites working hard, often in inhuman conditions, and sending money back home to a state which is notorious for its leftist fundamentalism? Also, how can you explain a ban on Pepsi and Coke, when tobacco and alcohol are freely available. Anyway, I can't help it, so I live with it.
Getting back home was easy, staying there, well, that was different thing altogether. I mean, when you are a 26 yr old single male, it is inevitable that people around you start saying the dreaded word:- marriage. Yeah, yeah, you have to get "settled" with a nice (read : of parents choice) girl. Not withstanding, whether one is interested, has a person in mind or is gay. Falling in the 2nd category, I was faced with the insurmountable task of explaining my choice to my family. Not surprisingly, my family not only includes my parents and grandparents, but also my uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews, and even the driver who drives my dad around while in town.
To most westerners, finding a partner of your choice in India should sound like a cakewalk, after all, there are a billion of us. But once u look at the Indian system, u surely are in for a major shock. For example: out of the 500 million approx. of the opposite sex, roughly 90-95% do not belong to your state, add to that the criteria of being single, same caste and sub caste, above 18, should be in the same age bracket (you definitely don't want to marry someone of your mom's age) should not be from your family or extended family:- it just happens so that, your family might run into thousands, should not be from the same Gotra :- well its something like, you guys should not be praying at the same temple - if you do, that makes u family and you might become a behench*** . Also, you have to take into consideration, the fact that families should be of the same social status and your janampatris should match. Taking all this into account, it is highly likely that you might end up choosing between a retard, a nymphomaniac or an alcoholic.
Getting back to the task at hand, I had to explain to my mom that her daughter in law is gonna be a foreigner. Instead of dropping the bomb, I tried a more subtle approach, I tried to take my cousin's opinion and tried to make a consensus. In the process, I realised that most Indians can accept Sonia Gandhi as the prime minister of India, but would not accept a foreigner into their family. In hindsight, I think that Indira Gandhi must have kicked Rajiv's ass before the wedding. So, after 3 days, one of my cousin sisters gave me some invaluable advice, make a schedule and then break the news, also, do so over the phone.. in the back of my head I was making a note already : after 3 shots of vodka
Getting back home was easy, staying there, well, that was different thing altogether. I mean, when you are a 26 yr old single male, it is inevitable that people around you start saying the dreaded word:- marriage. Yeah, yeah, you have to get "settled" with a nice (read : of parents choice) girl. Not withstanding, whether one is interested, has a person in mind or is gay. Falling in the 2nd category, I was faced with the insurmountable task of explaining my choice to my family. Not surprisingly, my family not only includes my parents and grandparents, but also my uncles, aunts, cousins, second cousins, nieces, nephews, and even the driver who drives my dad around while in town.
To most westerners, finding a partner of your choice in India should sound like a cakewalk, after all, there are a billion of us. But once u look at the Indian system, u surely are in for a major shock. For example: out of the 500 million approx. of the opposite sex, roughly 90-95% do not belong to your state, add to that the criteria of being single, same caste and sub caste, above 18, should be in the same age bracket (you definitely don't want to marry someone of your mom's age) should not be from your family or extended family:- it just happens so that, your family might run into thousands, should not be from the same Gotra :- well its something like, you guys should not be praying at the same temple - if you do, that makes u family and you might become a behench*** . Also, you have to take into consideration, the fact that families should be of the same social status and your janampatris should match. Taking all this into account, it is highly likely that you might end up choosing between a retard, a nymphomaniac or an alcoholic.
Getting back to the task at hand, I had to explain to my mom that her daughter in law is gonna be a foreigner. Instead of dropping the bomb, I tried a more subtle approach, I tried to take my cousin's opinion and tried to make a consensus. In the process, I realised that most Indians can accept Sonia Gandhi as the prime minister of India, but would not accept a foreigner into their family. In hindsight, I think that Indira Gandhi must have kicked Rajiv's ass before the wedding. So, after 3 days, one of my cousin sisters gave me some invaluable advice, make a schedule and then break the news, also, do so over the phone.. in the back of my head I was making a note already : after 3 shots of vodka
Saturday, May 05, 2007
The Most Amazing Circus I Have Ever Seen (And It Was Without Any Animals)
Went to watch a circus called 'Era Circus of Shanghai' (I may not have the completely correct name here, so please forgive me for that) today. It is a must watch for anyone coming to Shanghai. It had a lot of things I did not expect in a circus - a love story, the most amazing music composition in a show, a very well organized event. The best part of the circus was the love story indeed. Am in no mood to give out the details today as I have had the second best Indian food so far and it was homecooked - actually cooked by three bachelors ;) - but it was tasty anyways..
Useful Information About Shanghai (from women's perspective this time ;)
1) Shanghai is the safest place in China for women. Go anywhere you want, anytime you want, do anything you want, wear whatever, ah it is just amazing.
2) There are night clubs where you can meet interesting pepole like ME (yeahhhhh).
Tingu - An Indian in Shanghai
Useful Information About Shanghai (from women's perspective this time ;)
1) Shanghai is the safest place in China for women. Go anywhere you want, anytime you want, do anything you want, wear whatever, ah it is just amazing.
2) There are night clubs where you can meet interesting pepole like ME (yeahhhhh).
Tingu - An Indian in Shanghai
Found a Shanghaian Who Can Speak in Perfect Hindi - Talk About Surprises
Life can throw up such suprises.
Here we were sitting outside one Indian convenience store smoking our way to glory. We were their to buy some indian food (for a change), hindi dvds, etc. So it was three of us friends their doing some bullshitting together. We see an old chinese gentleman looking at intently, we thought - wohoo - some chinese monk is here to give us some divine powers. And he walks up to us and says - Namaste (that's an indian way of greeting) and asks us in chaste hindi - are you guys from India. We all three sat like bums for a few minutes as it was just too much - I mean I had met only a few chinese folks (apart from the ones in my office) who could speak in english, I would never had thought about somebody knowing hindi. So coming back to the story, this old friend of ours spoke to us in perfect hindi (even chaster than us hehe). It was really nice to talk to him and at the end, all three of us friends were convinced that he was a secrete service agent spying on India ;) in his previous life.
Hindi - Chini - Bhai Bhai :))
Here we were sitting outside one Indian convenience store smoking our way to glory. We were their to buy some indian food (for a change), hindi dvds, etc. So it was three of us friends their doing some bullshitting together. We see an old chinese gentleman looking at intently, we thought - wohoo - some chinese monk is here to give us some divine powers. And he walks up to us and says - Namaste (that's an indian way of greeting) and asks us in chaste hindi - are you guys from India. We all three sat like bums for a few minutes as it was just too much - I mean I had met only a few chinese folks (apart from the ones in my office) who could speak in english, I would never had thought about somebody knowing hindi. So coming back to the story, this old friend of ours spoke to us in perfect hindi (even chaster than us hehe). It was really nice to talk to him and at the end, all three of us friends were convinced that he was a secrete service agent spying on India ;) in his previous life.
Hindi - Chini - Bhai Bhai :))
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Being An Indian in Shanghai :)
Am falling in love with this city.....
Folks, I may be a little biased about this (as I am in this city now so can't help it). But I have to get it out of me fast and tell you guys....I confirm the obvious, this is one of the most beautiful cities in the world (AMONGST the ones I have been to, obviously for some of the smart asses) - talk about standard of living, infrastructure, food, people, nightlife....
So here I was in the shanghai airport (I just can't remember its name - trying remember xixixxian), and the temperatures were in the range of 15-20. Coming from 40+, it was a paradise. The immigration clearance at the airport was cakewalk. So out was, being driven in the company car to my temporary residence. It was around 10 PM local time and the view was amazing, neon lights everywhere, roads without any POTHOLES. I was accompanied by an embarrasingly polite driver (imagine the most polite person you have ever met and increase it by 10 times, ah jesus, I almost felt bad for him) and one of my office colleagues playing the perfect host.
So after a very smooth ride of 30 minutes, I got to my temporary residence. This was the house which I wanted to rent so much in delhi, but never had the money for:). I offered my host a drink as I knew my roommate had stocked the fridge with beer (not finished it like some people in India) and some vodka (ruski standard - motu). However, she settled for some juice. After lending me some 200 Yuan (Remnibi - kuay - china's currency), she left. Need to go back a lil, before I got INSIDE my apartment, she educated me about everything - getting out of the car, using my electronic key to open the main gates of the apartment, calling a lift, turning the key in my apartment's key whole - ah jesus and she would always say - ah you are quite good at it. I felt like my mom was with me, as she never have believed that I ever grew up (motu- here is your chance - I know I"m kind). So continuing the story, while my host was leaving, I tried to be my best gentleman self by opening the door - forgetting to lock the door to my apartment - holding the lift for her - seeing her off at the busstand. I then returned to my flat for some cigarettes, food, and beer yo.
The next day, I checked out the local area for the following - changing some dollars, getting some gas in my phone, some groceries (oh yeah as my friend just left me alcohol and nothing else in the fridge - somethings never change in life). After talking to bank officials for 2 hours - with them not understanding a word I was saying and laughing their assess off and getting the rest done easily, I was back in my place. Later, I want to a massage parlour next door to get one of the most amazing massages I have ever got (not that i have got many...hehe). The only unpleasant thing about the massage being the last question which the massuer put to me - would you like me to massage you at some special places - c'mon guys, I always thought that she was a really nice girl.
The next day, it was time to get to work. By the time I got to work, I was convinced (as my friend told me) - Foreigners are exotic in Shanghai. Never had these many stares before. (Motu - here is another chance). Once I got to work, it was work as usual till the time i was told that we have to work till the coming monday. However, this was because there were one week of holidays coming up. I won't say more. And yes, my first day at work can also be marked for the begining of my struggle with chopsticks (ah jesus, I have only won half the battle till now).
Life has been fun after that - couple of office parties, two amazing night clubs, spider man 3 (not as great as first two, however, definitely worth watching folks), visit to various postcard tourist spots. This city is just amazing and is getting to me.
Finally, I have found my new flat - after deciding on the colors of the curtain, household stuff (almost felt like a married man - motu you may like it eh - what say tarzan?), . Next week is the house warming hopefully. You all are invited folks (saying it doesn't hurt).
At the end, guys, I miss you all a lot.
Also some of the interesting information about living in Shanghai and China in general:
1) Girls at the street will walk up to you and ask you to teach english. But never fall for them as they are either prostitutes or cons. Also, they may be girls looking for that perfect non-chinese husband. SO it is definitely a no go.
2) You got to learn the chinese language, mandarin in this case, to really enjoy the city and make friends. I have learned two words till now and am still working on it.
3) The best place to pick up girls are the nightclubs (but gotta be carefult about wrong ones) and the chinese lesson classes (now, do you see my point about learning the language, eh). Also, in the nightclubs, you find a lot of people from all around the world.
4) Nobody understands english and they don't care about it.
5) At your workplace, people will just follow what you say without questioning it.
6) The standard of living is just amazing and beyond imagination - unless you live it yourself.
7) The ex-guitarist of greenday is my neighbour and a friend now. (Tarzan, any reasons to come to this place)
The list can be endless - I will keep this section in all my blogs.
Let me be a lil senti here, despite of all this - I MISS MY COUNTRY. Love You All.
PS: Sorry, I had to remove some of the earlier posted comments to avoid trouble.
Folks, I may be a little biased about this (as I am in this city now so can't help it). But I have to get it out of me fast and tell you guys....I confirm the obvious, this is one of the most beautiful cities in the world (AMONGST the ones I have been to, obviously for some of the smart asses) - talk about standard of living, infrastructure, food, people, nightlife....
So here I was in the shanghai airport (I just can't remember its name - trying remember xixixxian), and the temperatures were in the range of 15-20. Coming from 40+, it was a paradise. The immigration clearance at the airport was cakewalk. So out was, being driven in the company car to my temporary residence. It was around 10 PM local time and the view was amazing, neon lights everywhere, roads without any POTHOLES. I was accompanied by an embarrasingly polite driver (imagine the most polite person you have ever met and increase it by 10 times, ah jesus, I almost felt bad for him) and one of my office colleagues playing the perfect host.
So after a very smooth ride of 30 minutes, I got to my temporary residence. This was the house which I wanted to rent so much in delhi, but never had the money for:). I offered my host a drink as I knew my roommate had stocked the fridge with beer (not finished it like some people in India) and some vodka (ruski standard - motu). However, she settled for some juice. After lending me some 200 Yuan (Remnibi - kuay - china's currency), she left. Need to go back a lil, before I got INSIDE my apartment, she educated me about everything - getting out of the car, using my electronic key to open the main gates of the apartment, calling a lift, turning the key in my apartment's key whole - ah jesus and she would always say - ah you are quite good at it. I felt like my mom was with me, as she never have believed that I ever grew up (motu- here is your chance - I know I"m kind). So continuing the story, while my host was leaving, I tried to be my best gentleman self by opening the door - forgetting to lock the door to my apartment - holding the lift for her - seeing her off at the busstand. I then returned to my flat for some cigarettes, food, and beer yo.
The next day, I checked out the local area for the following - changing some dollars, getting some gas in my phone, some groceries (oh yeah as my friend just left me alcohol and nothing else in the fridge - somethings never change in life). After talking to bank officials for 2 hours - with them not understanding a word I was saying and laughing their assess off and getting the rest done easily, I was back in my place. Later, I want to a massage parlour next door to get one of the most amazing massages I have ever got (not that i have got many...hehe). The only unpleasant thing about the massage being the last question which the massuer put to me - would you like me to massage you at some special places - c'mon guys, I always thought that she was a really nice girl.
The next day, it was time to get to work. By the time I got to work, I was convinced (as my friend told me) - Foreigners are exotic in Shanghai. Never had these many stares before. (Motu - here is another chance). Once I got to work, it was work as usual till the time i was told that we have to work till the coming monday. However, this was because there were one week of holidays coming up. I won't say more. And yes, my first day at work can also be marked for the begining of my struggle with chopsticks (ah jesus, I have only won half the battle till now).
Life has been fun after that - couple of office parties, two amazing night clubs, spider man 3 (not as great as first two, however, definitely worth watching folks), visit to various postcard tourist spots. This city is just amazing and is getting to me.
Finally, I have found my new flat - after deciding on the colors of the curtain, household stuff (almost felt like a married man - motu you may like it eh - what say tarzan?), . Next week is the house warming hopefully. You all are invited folks (saying it doesn't hurt).
At the end, guys, I miss you all a lot.
Also some of the interesting information about living in Shanghai and China in general:
1) Girls at the street will walk up to you and ask you to teach english. But never fall for them as they are either prostitutes or cons. Also, they may be girls looking for that perfect non-chinese husband. SO it is definitely a no go.
2) You got to learn the chinese language, mandarin in this case, to really enjoy the city and make friends. I have learned two words till now and am still working on it.
3) The best place to pick up girls are the nightclubs (but gotta be carefult about wrong ones) and the chinese lesson classes (now, do you see my point about learning the language, eh). Also, in the nightclubs, you find a lot of people from all around the world.
4) Nobody understands english and they don't care about it.
5) At your workplace, people will just follow what you say without questioning it.
6) The standard of living is just amazing and beyond imagination - unless you live it yourself.
7) The ex-guitarist of greenday is my neighbour and a friend now. (Tarzan, any reasons to come to this place)
The list can be endless - I will keep this section in all my blogs.
Let me be a lil senti here, despite of all this - I MISS MY COUNTRY. Love You All.
PS: Sorry, I had to remove some of the earlier posted comments to avoid trouble.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Smoking While Traveling at 150 Kms per hour – That is Life
Warning: This is a not-so-interesting update on our last weekend (January 28, 2007), so folks please have patience.
January 26th is the day when India became a republic. Don’t know if it was the nationalistic fervor in us or was it the feeling of being bored-to-death-on-a-Sunday-evening or was it the hangover of the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’ or the hope of a nice evening or may be all of this put together; we started from the den of loonies in Delhi to salute the India Gate. However, we were late for the Republic Day celebrations by only 38 hours. But folks, what matters the most is the feeling right so we headed for the India gate.
‘We’…hmmm. I say the word and think hard. Wow - a word, so small, can signify so much: the togetherness of a couple, a bunch of loonies in Delhi, a nation, a continent, a planet, a solar system. Such power in something so SMALL. Still not convinced. Wait till the time you see me (wink wink). Anyways, I guess it is the time to come back from my egotrip (ahem). So where were we…
So we, i.e., Motu, Harmu, Tingu, and Tarzan, started from our good old house (with our neighbors wishing us – good riddance and hoping that we won’t return till eternity. We obviously did return to their disappointment) towards bebe’s god-knows-where-place-in-Delhi to pick her up for the sojourn. Curious about our neighbors attitude, imagine living next to two crack-heads with some crazy fetish for loud music irrespective of the time and occasion. I guess you get the idea.
So let us get started on our drive to fun (or so to say)…to India Gate…..We started with the bang, the only difference was that bang had taken a human form as Motu. He was in a mood to rock us and so he did (did not even leave the car, which would dance with everyone of his moves – he weighs just 95). He loves singing, nothing wrong with that. He sings with his heart with utter disregard to the tune, singer, voice modulation, and most importantly other people’s comfort (God how I wish, his girl should listen him sing once, I’m sure she will start having third thoughts about getting married to him. Third Thoughts? Yeah, as I am sure she already is having second thoughts). But he is our friend, so we let him sing (not that he would stop anyways – so as they say, if you are getting raped and can’t do anything about it, enjoy it). Me and Tarzan joined motu in the chorus, just trying to enjoy the rape, and boom goes harmu – “Guys, what kind of dogs you are?” – pat goes Tarzan – “German Shepherds”.
So after enjoying the orgy-cum-more-rape-minus-sex for 40 minutes, we finally got to our destination and waited with clear instructions that nobody comes out of the car.
Bullshitosophy about Girls: The more they want to meet you the more they will make you wait.
Bebe is the epitome of this bullshitosophy of three loonies, her best so far is two and half hours – and believe me she is trying to get better. IST – Indian Stretchable Time, Indians are definitely worse than neggars man!!After waiting for not-willing-to-specify time, the girl hopped in and we were on our way again. We were a happy bunch for couple of seconds and I thought things can only get better now. As soon as the thought came in my head, Bebe started cooing. And damn, realization dawned upon me that she was in the mood to rape as well – rape us all; and Motu suddenly had company. We somehow got to India Gate with very weak ear drums.
In front of India Gate, for some nano-seconds, I felt very nationalistic. The place is absolutely majestic and makes you think. But I was not willing to stay with that feeling for long. At the end of our short stay at Gates, Motu had a lot of fun blowing (literally). Blowing water bubbles is such fun, hmmmmm. What are you folks smiling at, you okay people?
Started again from India gate and got to the expressway and then we took off. Traveling at the speed of 150 KMs per hour (with car’s windows open) and smoking. Wow, folks this is one thing which you all should try. It was crazy, girls screaming their hearts out, and boys laughing/smoking their way to glory. Jesus, it was great. Tarzan, way to go boy, we should try it again. Did I miss the part about alcohol. Bebe was already having an hangover and we guys were having fun with some good beer and wine. Rose took the advice from the Scottish News daily too seriously – Women Warned: Drink Less to Avoid Rape (she should have known better, Motu had the last laugh – patience folks!!)
After landing back, we stopped at a lonely road and then came the best part. Amazing music, thanks to Tarzan, started blaring out of the car’s speakers and we started dancing on the roads under the moonlight. It was absolutely crazy and wonderful. It was amazing fun. We took turns to dance with each other and it was absolutely fun. Even more so for Rose, I guess. Motu was trying some balldancing with her and she was laughing her way to glory. God-knows-what she was laughing at, may be she was feeling a lil girly or may be it was hard for her to fathom the fact that Motu was trying balldance with her. Imagine a Sumo Wrestler trying balldancing with 36-24-36, I guess you get the picture.
Can’t finish before talking about Malaise. Motu - first of all, one of things which this word means is - A vague feeling of discomfort, one that cannot be pinned down but is often sensed as "just not right." Now consider these facts about yourself – you are thinking about buying microwave, dining table, and god-knows-what-else. You go to a departmental store and you appreciate the crockery, curtains, covers, bed-sheets (for Christ-sake man), etc. Now consider this – as a 25 year old guy – I (including Tarzan) generally think about things like alcohol, parties, girls, sex (trying-to-molest-rose does not count as sex), etc, etc. YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD AS WELL. Now do you get the feeling that something is “just not right” with you (you asked me to be subtle, can’t be more subtle). If yes, then there is still some hope for your; if No, then mate, I already miss my buddy Motu.
At the end – I should also say something about the evening. For a change I will stop being Mean, my dear loonies (including two girls) it was an amazing night, amazing friends (I wish it stays like this forever..stop gasping rose, I can be nice at times…), booze, cigarettes, amazing music, and living every moment like there is no tomorrow. It was just amazing. Troy, miss you mate. Ahem, what’s wrong with me?
That’s All Folks
Tingu
(Reality Keeps Ruining My Life – There is Happiness in Life and Then There is Marriage)
January 26th is the day when India became a republic. Don’t know if it was the nationalistic fervor in us or was it the feeling of being bored-to-death-on-a-Sunday-evening or was it the hangover of the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’ or the hope of a nice evening or may be all of this put together; we started from the den of loonies in Delhi to salute the India Gate. However, we were late for the Republic Day celebrations by only 38 hours. But folks, what matters the most is the feeling right so we headed for the India gate.
‘We’…hmmm. I say the word and think hard. Wow - a word, so small, can signify so much: the togetherness of a couple, a bunch of loonies in Delhi, a nation, a continent, a planet, a solar system. Such power in something so SMALL. Still not convinced. Wait till the time you see me (wink wink). Anyways, I guess it is the time to come back from my egotrip (ahem). So where were we…
So we, i.e., Motu, Harmu, Tingu, and Tarzan, started from our good old house (with our neighbors wishing us – good riddance and hoping that we won’t return till eternity. We obviously did return to their disappointment) towards bebe’s god-knows-where-place-in-Delhi to pick her up for the sojourn. Curious about our neighbors attitude, imagine living next to two crack-heads with some crazy fetish for loud music irrespective of the time and occasion. I guess you get the idea.
So let us get started on our drive to fun (or so to say)…to India Gate…..We started with the bang, the only difference was that bang had taken a human form as Motu. He was in a mood to rock us and so he did (did not even leave the car, which would dance with everyone of his moves – he weighs just 95). He loves singing, nothing wrong with that. He sings with his heart with utter disregard to the tune, singer, voice modulation, and most importantly other people’s comfort (God how I wish, his girl should listen him sing once, I’m sure she will start having third thoughts about getting married to him. Third Thoughts? Yeah, as I am sure she already is having second thoughts). But he is our friend, so we let him sing (not that he would stop anyways – so as they say, if you are getting raped and can’t do anything about it, enjoy it). Me and Tarzan joined motu in the chorus, just trying to enjoy the rape, and boom goes harmu – “Guys, what kind of dogs you are?” – pat goes Tarzan – “German Shepherds”.
So after enjoying the orgy-cum-more-rape-minus-sex for 40 minutes, we finally got to our destination and waited with clear instructions that nobody comes out of the car.
Bullshitosophy about Girls: The more they want to meet you the more they will make you wait.
Bebe is the epitome of this bullshitosophy of three loonies, her best so far is two and half hours – and believe me she is trying to get better. IST – Indian Stretchable Time, Indians are definitely worse than neggars man!!After waiting for not-willing-to-specify time, the girl hopped in and we were on our way again. We were a happy bunch for couple of seconds and I thought things can only get better now. As soon as the thought came in my head, Bebe started cooing. And damn, realization dawned upon me that she was in the mood to rape as well – rape us all; and Motu suddenly had company. We somehow got to India Gate with very weak ear drums.
In front of India Gate, for some nano-seconds, I felt very nationalistic. The place is absolutely majestic and makes you think. But I was not willing to stay with that feeling for long. At the end of our short stay at Gates, Motu had a lot of fun blowing (literally). Blowing water bubbles is such fun, hmmmmm. What are you folks smiling at, you okay people?
Started again from India gate and got to the expressway and then we took off. Traveling at the speed of 150 KMs per hour (with car’s windows open) and smoking. Wow, folks this is one thing which you all should try. It was crazy, girls screaming their hearts out, and boys laughing/smoking their way to glory. Jesus, it was great. Tarzan, way to go boy, we should try it again. Did I miss the part about alcohol. Bebe was already having an hangover and we guys were having fun with some good beer and wine. Rose took the advice from the Scottish News daily too seriously – Women Warned: Drink Less to Avoid Rape (she should have known better, Motu had the last laugh – patience folks!!)
After landing back, we stopped at a lonely road and then came the best part. Amazing music, thanks to Tarzan, started blaring out of the car’s speakers and we started dancing on the roads under the moonlight. It was absolutely crazy and wonderful. It was amazing fun. We took turns to dance with each other and it was absolutely fun. Even more so for Rose, I guess. Motu was trying some balldancing with her and she was laughing her way to glory. God-knows-what she was laughing at, may be she was feeling a lil girly or may be it was hard for her to fathom the fact that Motu was trying balldance with her. Imagine a Sumo Wrestler trying balldancing with 36-24-36, I guess you get the picture.
Can’t finish before talking about Malaise. Motu - first of all, one of things which this word means is - A vague feeling of discomfort, one that cannot be pinned down but is often sensed as "just not right." Now consider these facts about yourself – you are thinking about buying microwave, dining table, and god-knows-what-else. You go to a departmental store and you appreciate the crockery, curtains, covers, bed-sheets (for Christ-sake man), etc. Now consider this – as a 25 year old guy – I (including Tarzan) generally think about things like alcohol, parties, girls, sex (trying-to-molest-rose does not count as sex), etc, etc. YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD AS WELL. Now do you get the feeling that something is “just not right” with you (you asked me to be subtle, can’t be more subtle). If yes, then there is still some hope for your; if No, then mate, I already miss my buddy Motu.
At the end – I should also say something about the evening. For a change I will stop being Mean, my dear loonies (including two girls) it was an amazing night, amazing friends (I wish it stays like this forever..stop gasping rose, I can be nice at times…), booze, cigarettes, amazing music, and living every moment like there is no tomorrow. It was just amazing. Troy, miss you mate. Ahem, what’s wrong with me?
That’s All Folks
Tingu
(Reality Keeps Ruining My Life – There is Happiness in Life and Then There is Marriage)
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Payback
There has been so much happening in my life that I have not been able to keep up on my online life. On the other hand, I am sure that Tingu and the new additions (read Tarzan) are encashing every opportunity to spread malaise about me. Thank you guys.
So here it comes straight from the horse's mouth. I have commited the mortal sin of commiting to someone and somehow am not regretting it yet. Yeah, I did travel 7000 miles to get to her - as if India had any shortage of females, yeah 500 million were not enough for me.
Anyway, am I here to bullshit about me? Hell no!! There are some developments that I would like to tell you guys about - Tingu. Did you guys notice some change in his style of writing? He actually jotted something nice about a certain female.. Who the fuck am I kidding? Yeah, our dear friend has been sized up, measured and found wanting.. but then, that's has always been the case, right Tingu? Four feet something would always be found wanting.. but here its a different case altogether.. Bebe - beautiful gal with brains - as Tingu puts it has our lil pest by his balls and everything else too.
Dr. Troy, moving to b'lore certainly did you one good thing, you dont have to put up with Tingu's bullshitology day in and day out. But then, deciphering any kind of information has certainly been one of your weak points rite? I certainly hope that the kicks that you got on new year in mussorie should have pacified your ass for some time - lest it grows out of being kicked. And I'd say, you better make "Dost.. Dost naa raha.." your anthem.
Tarzan, is one hellua colorful person.. No, I'm not talking about his character, its his choice of clothes that make him colorful, lately I've been telling him : you are funny, but then looks aren't everything.
Harmu, well.. earlier introduced as Rose, is the kind of person who'd wrestle a chocolate bar from a kid. So all you aunties out there watch out, she is "adults only" material.
Bebe, a natural addition to our gang, a freak trying to fit into a regular person's shoes, in the process knocking two of our original member's of the three nuts. Now you know, who was knock out and who knocked in?
I guess that enough of malaise, I've already given out enough to get me killed six times over. I'm sure tingu would try and cover it up with a new post.
So here it comes straight from the horse's mouth. I have commited the mortal sin of commiting to someone and somehow am not regretting it yet. Yeah, I did travel 7000 miles to get to her - as if India had any shortage of females, yeah 500 million were not enough for me.
Anyway, am I here to bullshit about me? Hell no!! There are some developments that I would like to tell you guys about - Tingu. Did you guys notice some change in his style of writing? He actually jotted something nice about a certain female.. Who the fuck am I kidding? Yeah, our dear friend has been sized up, measured and found wanting.. but then, that's has always been the case, right Tingu? Four feet something would always be found wanting.. but here its a different case altogether.. Bebe - beautiful gal with brains - as Tingu puts it has our lil pest by his balls and everything else too.
Dr. Troy, moving to b'lore certainly did you one good thing, you dont have to put up with Tingu's bullshitology day in and day out. But then, deciphering any kind of information has certainly been one of your weak points rite? I certainly hope that the kicks that you got on new year in mussorie should have pacified your ass for some time - lest it grows out of being kicked. And I'd say, you better make "Dost.. Dost naa raha.." your anthem.
Tarzan, is one hellua colorful person.. No, I'm not talking about his character, its his choice of clothes that make him colorful, lately I've been telling him : you are funny, but then looks aren't everything.
Harmu, well.. earlier introduced as Rose, is the kind of person who'd wrestle a chocolate bar from a kid. So all you aunties out there watch out, she is "adults only" material.
Bebe, a natural addition to our gang, a freak trying to fit into a regular person's shoes, in the process knocking two of our original member's of the three nuts. Now you know, who was knock out and who knocked in?
I guess that enough of malaise, I've already given out enough to get me killed six times over. I'm sure tingu would try and cover it up with a new post.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Lesson Learnt: Have a Healthy Disregard for the Impossible
Another one bites the dust. A sad day in the history of MCP clan.
Disregarding Tingu's philosophy about marriage (Tingu's philosophy or rather Bullshitosophy - There is happiness in life and then there is marriage), Motu has finally decided to put his head under the guillotine called 'Marriage'. After a long seven years (I may be wrong about the years, but who cares) of courtship, Motu has tested positive for the disease called marriage. His life is over now, if I may add with some masochistic pleasure (c'mon folks it hurts). The symptoms of the disease in Motu have started to show up very often now, such as: plans to buy microwave, dining table, etc. Who on earth talks like that man. If marriage wasn't scary enough for me, it has become even scarier as I am watching my friend suffer from it. God bless him. Two minutes of silence in the rememberance of the 'Cool Boy Jay'.
Anyways, it has been long and you guys deserve an update on our lives. This is an update starting January 1, 2007. Now the question is that 'What happened before that?'. So my question to you folks is that are you guys really interested, if yes, then let us know. We will think about writing some stuff in next ten years. We love you all.
Motu:
Do I need to say more about him? He went to the love of his life (only 7000 miles from India and 20 degrees colder place) to meet the death of his bachelorhood (for christsake man, was he nuts? They are right when they say that 'Love is Blind'. I personally think it is deaf, dumb, and retarded as well.) and came back with the engagement ring. Engagement ring, doesn't the ring of it sound scary? Sounds like the equivalent of SUFFERring (agreed. I picked it up from somwhere. Don't start screaming folks.). Apart from that small bachlors-life-ending incident, life has been rocking for him. Tons of beer, dance, smoke; we get into the details a lil later.
Tingu:
Life has been a mixed bag for our little pest. He has gone through the horrible experience of being a part of two marriage and has religiously prayed for the peace of the two dead men. For the new year, it was amazing and awsome mountains in India. All in all, things have not been bad. I am sure you folks will get some comments about it from Motu. (By the way I am publishing this blog in his absence so that I can avoid his editing bit.)
DR. Troy:
Life has been a teacher for DR. Troy. He has been taught the most critical lesson for his life as described below:
Bullshitosophy of Life: Life can be beautiful without friends. Their company may not always do you good. I have to confess that myself and Motu have done our best to teach him this.
So as you guys may have gathered that we are taking good care of our friend DR. Troy. Our friend has understood the essence of this lesson and has moved out of Delhi with us wishing him Good Luck and Good Riddance.
Time to introduce some more characters in the dramatic lives of 'Three Nuts in Delhi'.
Harmu: A very beautiful girl who is the apt epitome of this fact about girls.
Bullshitosophy about Girls: The beauty and brains are inveresely proportional to each other in Girls. Girls if you understood the meaning of 'inversely proporotional' then congratulations you are safe from Mankind (no one wud ever bother you) and if you did not then my number is +91 9999 2298 34. I love dumb females.
Bebe (or baby): A very beautiful girl again but with some signs of brains (Harmu: stop screaming. There are exceptions to all the rules.) and bebe don't be elated by no comments on you. Your time shall come as well.
Tarzan: Again, the name says it all. Wild at heart and otherwise as well. DOn't believe me, then wait till the time I post his dancing videos.
We will give you updates on our new characters regularly. There is a lot to talk about otherwise as well.
So may God bless all.
Tingu
(Reality keeps ruining my life)
P.S. Bullshitosophy: Motu, seeking revenge is sinful. Don't you ever do that.
Disregarding Tingu's philosophy about marriage (Tingu's philosophy or rather Bullshitosophy - There is happiness in life and then there is marriage), Motu has finally decided to put his head under the guillotine called 'Marriage'. After a long seven years (I may be wrong about the years, but who cares) of courtship, Motu has tested positive for the disease called marriage. His life is over now, if I may add with some masochistic pleasure (c'mon folks it hurts). The symptoms of the disease in Motu have started to show up very often now, such as: plans to buy microwave, dining table, etc. Who on earth talks like that man. If marriage wasn't scary enough for me, it has become even scarier as I am watching my friend suffer from it. God bless him. Two minutes of silence in the rememberance of the 'Cool Boy Jay'.
Anyways, it has been long and you guys deserve an update on our lives. This is an update starting January 1, 2007. Now the question is that 'What happened before that?'. So my question to you folks is that are you guys really interested, if yes, then let us know. We will think about writing some stuff in next ten years. We love you all.
Motu:
Do I need to say more about him? He went to the love of his life (only 7000 miles from India and 20 degrees colder place) to meet the death of his bachelorhood (for christsake man, was he nuts? They are right when they say that 'Love is Blind'. I personally think it is deaf, dumb, and retarded as well.) and came back with the engagement ring. Engagement ring, doesn't the ring of it sound scary? Sounds like the equivalent of SUFFERring (agreed. I picked it up from somwhere. Don't start screaming folks.). Apart from that small bachlors-life-ending incident, life has been rocking for him. Tons of beer, dance, smoke; we get into the details a lil later.
Tingu:
Life has been a mixed bag for our little pest. He has gone through the horrible experience of being a part of two marriage and has religiously prayed for the peace of the two dead men. For the new year, it was amazing and awsome mountains in India. All in all, things have not been bad. I am sure you folks will get some comments about it from Motu. (By the way I am publishing this blog in his absence so that I can avoid his editing bit.)
DR. Troy:
Life has been a teacher for DR. Troy. He has been taught the most critical lesson for his life as described below:
Bullshitosophy of Life: Life can be beautiful without friends. Their company may not always do you good. I have to confess that myself and Motu have done our best to teach him this.
So as you guys may have gathered that we are taking good care of our friend DR. Troy. Our friend has understood the essence of this lesson and has moved out of Delhi with us wishing him Good Luck and Good Riddance.
Time to introduce some more characters in the dramatic lives of 'Three Nuts in Delhi'.
Harmu: A very beautiful girl who is the apt epitome of this fact about girls.
Bullshitosophy about Girls: The beauty and brains are inveresely proportional to each other in Girls. Girls if you understood the meaning of 'inversely proporotional' then congratulations you are safe from Mankind (no one wud ever bother you) and if you did not then my number is +91 9999 2298 34. I love dumb females.
Bebe (or baby): A very beautiful girl again but with some signs of brains (Harmu: stop screaming. There are exceptions to all the rules.) and bebe don't be elated by no comments on you. Your time shall come as well.
Tarzan: Again, the name says it all. Wild at heart and otherwise as well. DOn't believe me, then wait till the time I post his dancing videos.
We will give you updates on our new characters regularly. There is a lot to talk about otherwise as well.
So may God bless all.
Tingu
(Reality keeps ruining my life)
P.S. Bullshitosophy: Motu, seeking revenge is sinful. Don't you ever do that.
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