Found a Shanghaian Who Can Speak in Perfect Hindi - Talk About Surprises

Life can throw up such suprises.

Here we were sitting outside one Indian convenience store smoking our way to glory. We were their to buy some indian food (for a change), hindi dvds, etc. So it was three of us friends their doing some bullshitting together. We see an old chinese gentleman looking at intently, we thought - wohoo - some chinese monk is here to give us some divine powers. And he walks up to us and says - Namaste (that's an indian way of greeting) and asks us in chaste hindi - are you guys from India. We all three sat like bums for a few minutes as it was just too much - I mean I had met only a few chinese folks (apart from the ones in my office) who could speak in english, I would never had thought about somebody knowing hindi. So coming back to the story, this old friend of ours spoke to us in perfect hindi (even chaster than us hehe). It was really nice to talk to him and at the end, all three of us friends were convinced that he was a secrete service agent spying on India ;) in his previous life.

Hindi - Chini - Bhai Bhai :))

Being An Indian in Shanghai :)

Am falling in love with this city.....

Folks, I may be a little biased about this (as I am in this city now so can't help it). But I have to get it out of me fast and tell you guys....I confirm the obvious, this is one of the most beautiful cities in the world (AMONGST the ones I have been to, obviously for some of the smart asses) - talk about standard of living, infrastructure, food, people, nightlife....

So here I was in the shanghai airport (I just can't remember its name - trying remember xixixxian), and the temperatures were in the range of 15-20. Coming from 40+, it was a paradise. The immigration clearance at the airport was cakewalk. So out was, being driven in the company car to my temporary residence. It was around 10 PM local time and the view was amazing, neon lights everywhere, roads without any POTHOLES. I was accompanied by an embarrasingly polite driver (imagine the most polite person you have ever met and increase it by 10 times, ah jesus, I almost felt bad for him) and one of my office colleagues playing the perfect host.

So after a very smooth ride of 30 minutes, I got to my temporary residence. This was the house which I wanted to rent so much in delhi, but never had the money for:). I offered my host a drink as I knew my roommate had stocked the fridge with beer (not finished it like some people in India) and some vodka (ruski standard - motu). However, she settled for some juice. After lending me some 200 Yuan (Remnibi - kuay - china's currency), she left. Need to go back a lil, before I got INSIDE my apartment, she educated me about everything - getting out of the car, using my electronic key to open the main gates of the apartment, calling a lift, turning the key in my apartment's key whole - ah jesus and she would always say - ah you are quite good at it. I felt like my mom was with me, as she never have believed that I ever grew up (motu- here is your chance - I know I"m kind). So continuing the story, while my host was leaving, I tried to be my best gentleman self by opening the door - forgetting to lock the door to my apartment - holding the lift for her - seeing her off at the busstand. I then returned to my flat for some cigarettes, food, and beer yo.

The next day, I checked out the local area for the following - changing some dollars, getting some gas in my phone, some groceries (oh yeah as my friend just left me alcohol and nothing else in the fridge - somethings never change in life). After talking to bank officials for 2 hours - with them not understanding a word I was saying and laughing their assess off and getting the rest done easily, I was back in my place. Later, I want to a massage parlour next door to get one of the most amazing massages I have ever got (not that i have got many...hehe). The only unpleasant thing about the massage being the last question which the massuer put to me - would you like me to massage you at some special places - c'mon guys, I always thought that she was a really nice girl.

The next day, it was time to get to work. By the time I got to work, I was convinced (as my friend told me) - Foreigners are exotic in Shanghai. Never had these many stares before. (Motu - here is another chance). Once I got to work, it was work as usual till the time i was told that we have to work till the coming monday. However, this was because there were one week of holidays coming up. I won't say more. And yes, my first day at work can also be marked for the begining of my struggle with chopsticks (ah jesus, I have only won half the battle till now).

Life has been fun after that - couple of office parties, two amazing night clubs, spider man 3 (not as great as first two, however, definitely worth watching folks), visit to various postcard tourist spots. This city is just amazing and is getting to me.

Finally, I have found my new flat - after deciding on the colors of the curtain, household stuff (almost felt like a married man - motu you may like it eh - what say tarzan?), . Next week is the house warming hopefully. You all are invited folks (saying it doesn't hurt).

At the end, guys, I miss you all a lot.

Also some of the interesting information about living in Shanghai and China in general:

1) Girls at the street will walk up to you and ask you to teach english. But never fall for them as they are either prostitutes or cons. Also, they may be girls looking for that perfect non-chinese husband. SO it is definitely a no go.

2) You got to learn the chinese language, mandarin in this case, to really enjoy the city and make friends. I have learned two words till now and am still working on it.

3) The best place to pick up girls are the nightclubs (but gotta be carefult about wrong ones) and the chinese lesson classes (now, do you see my point about learning the language, eh). Also, in the nightclubs, you find a lot of people from all around the world.

4) Nobody understands english and they don't care about it.

5) At your workplace, people will just follow what you say without questioning it.

6) The standard of living is just amazing and beyond imagination - unless you live it yourself.

7) The ex-guitarist of greenday is my neighbour and a friend now. (Tarzan, any reasons to come to this place)

The list can be endless - I will keep this section in all my blogs.

Let me be a lil senti here, despite of all this - I MISS MY COUNTRY. Love You All.

PS: Sorry, I had to remove some of the earlier posted comments to avoid trouble.

Smoking While Traveling at 150 Kms per hour – That is Life

Warning: This is a not-so-interesting update on our last weekend (January 28, 2007), so folks please have patience.

January 26th is the day when India became a republic. Don’t know if it was the nationalistic fervor in us or was it the feeling of being bored-to-death-on-a-Sunday-evening or was it the hangover of the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’ or the hope of a nice evening or may be all of this put together; we started from the den of loonies in Delhi to salute the India Gate. However, we were late for the Republic Day celebrations by only 38 hours. But folks, what matters the most is the feeling right so we headed for the India gate.

‘We’…hmmm. I say the word and think hard. Wow - a word, so small, can signify so much: the togetherness of a couple, a bunch of loonies in Delhi, a nation, a continent, a planet, a solar system. Such power in something so SMALL. Still not convinced. Wait till the time you see me (wink wink). Anyways, I guess it is the time to come back from my egotrip (ahem). So where were we…

So we, i.e., Motu, Harmu, Tingu, and Tarzan, started from our good old house (with our neighbors wishing us – good riddance and hoping that we won’t return till eternity. We obviously did return to their disappointment) towards bebe’s god-knows-where-place-in-Delhi to pick her up for the sojourn. Curious about our neighbors attitude, imagine living next to two crack-heads with some crazy fetish for loud music irrespective of the time and occasion. I guess you get the idea.

So let us get started on our drive to fun (or so to say)…to India Gate…..We started with the bang, the only difference was that bang had taken a human form as Motu. He was in a mood to rock us and so he did (did not even leave the car, which would dance with everyone of his moves – he weighs just 95). He loves singing, nothing wrong with that. He sings with his heart with utter disregard to the tune, singer, voice modulation, and most importantly other people’s comfort (God how I wish, his girl should listen him sing once, I’m sure she will start having third thoughts about getting married to him. Third Thoughts? Yeah, as I am sure she already is having second thoughts). But he is our friend, so we let him sing (not that he would stop anyways – so as they say, if you are getting raped and can’t do anything about it, enjoy it). Me and Tarzan joined motu in the chorus, just trying to enjoy the rape, and boom goes harmu – “Guys, what kind of dogs you are?” – pat goes Tarzan – “German Shepherds”.

So after enjoying the orgy-cum-more-rape-minus-sex for 40 minutes, we finally got to our destination and waited with clear instructions that nobody comes out of the car.

Bullshitosophy about Girls: The more they want to meet you the more they will make you wait.

Bebe is the epitome of this bullshitosophy of three loonies, her best so far is two and half hours – and believe me she is trying to get better. IST – Indian Stretchable Time, Indians are definitely worse than neggars man!!After waiting for not-willing-to-specify time, the girl hopped in and we were on our way again. We were a happy bunch for couple of seconds and I thought things can only get better now. As soon as the thought came in my head, Bebe started cooing. And damn, realization dawned upon me that she was in the mood to rape as well – rape us all; and Motu suddenly had company. We somehow got to India Gate with very weak ear drums.

In front of India Gate, for some nano-seconds, I felt very nationalistic. The place is absolutely majestic and makes you think. But I was not willing to stay with that feeling for long. At the end of our short stay at Gates, Motu had a lot of fun blowing (literally). Blowing water bubbles is such fun, hmmmmm. What are you folks smiling at, you okay people?

Started again from India gate and got to the expressway and then we took off. Traveling at the speed of 150 KMs per hour (with car’s windows open) and smoking. Wow, folks this is one thing which you all should try. It was crazy, girls screaming their hearts out, and boys laughing/smoking their way to glory. Jesus, it was great. Tarzan, way to go boy, we should try it again. Did I miss the part about alcohol. Bebe was already having an hangover and we guys were having fun with some good beer and wine. Rose took the advice from the Scottish News daily too seriously – Women Warned: Drink Less to Avoid Rape (she should have known better, Motu had the last laugh – patience folks!!)

After landing back, we stopped at a lonely road and then came the best part. Amazing music, thanks to Tarzan, started blaring out of the car’s speakers and we started dancing on the roads under the moonlight. It was absolutely crazy and wonderful. It was amazing fun. We took turns to dance with each other and it was absolutely fun. Even more so for Rose, I guess. Motu was trying some balldancing with her and she was laughing her way to glory. God-knows-what she was laughing at, may be she was feeling a lil girly or may be it was hard for her to fathom the fact that Motu was trying balldance with her. Imagine a Sumo Wrestler trying balldancing with 36-24-36, I guess you get the picture.

Can’t finish before talking about Malaise. Motu - first of all, one of things which this word means is - A vague feeling of discomfort, one that cannot be pinned down but is often sensed as "just not right." Now consider these facts about yourself – you are thinking about buying microwave, dining table, and god-knows-what-else. You go to a departmental store and you appreciate the crockery, curtains, covers, bed-sheets (for Christ-sake man), etc. Now consider this – as a 25 year old guy – I (including Tarzan) generally think about things like alcohol, parties, girls, sex (trying-to-molest-rose does not count as sex), etc, etc. YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD AS WELL. Now do you get the feeling that something is “just not right” with you (you asked me to be subtle, can’t be more subtle). If yes, then there is still some hope for your; if No, then mate, I already miss my buddy Motu.

At the end – I should also say something about the evening. For a change I will stop being Mean, my dear loonies (including two girls) it was an amazing night, amazing friends (I wish it stays like this forever..stop gasping rose, I can be nice at times…), booze, cigarettes, amazing music, and living every moment like there is no tomorrow. It was just amazing. Troy, miss you mate. Ahem, what’s wrong with me?
That’s All Folks

Tingu
(Reality Keeps Ruining My Life – There is Happiness in Life and Then There is Marriage)

Payback

There has been so much happening in my life that I have not been able to keep up on my online life. On the other hand, I am sure that Tingu and the new additions (read Tarzan) are encashing every opportunity to spread malaise about me. Thank you guys.

So here it comes straight from the horse's mouth. I have commited the mortal sin of commiting to someone and somehow am not regretting it yet. Yeah, I did travel 7000 miles to get to her - as if India had any shortage of females, yeah 500 million were not enough for me.

Anyway, am I here to bullshit about me? Hell no!! There are some developments that I would like to tell you guys about - Tingu. Did you guys notice some change in his style of writing? He actually jotted something nice about a certain female.. Who the fuck am I kidding? Yeah, our dear friend has been sized up, measured and found wanting.. but then, that's has always been the case, right Tingu? Four feet something would always be found wanting.. but here its a different case altogether.. Bebe - beautiful gal with brains - as Tingu puts it has our lil pest by his balls and everything else too.

Dr. Troy, moving to b'lore certainly did you one good thing, you dont have to put up with Tingu's bullshitology day in and day out. But then, deciphering any kind of information has certainly been one of your weak points rite? I certainly hope that the kicks that you got on new year in mussorie should have pacified your ass for some time - lest it grows out of being kicked. And I'd say, you better make "Dost.. Dost naa raha.." your anthem.

Tarzan, is one hellua colorful person.. No, I'm not talking about his character, its his choice of clothes that make him colorful, lately I've been telling him : you are funny, but then looks aren't everything.

Harmu, well.. earlier introduced as Rose, is the kind of person who'd wrestle a chocolate bar from a kid. So all you aunties out there watch out, she is "adults only" material.

Bebe, a natural addition to our gang, a freak trying to fit into a regular person's shoes, in the process knocking two of our original member's of the three nuts. Now you know, who was knock out and who knocked in?

I guess that enough of malaise, I've already given out enough to get me killed six times over. I'm sure tingu would try and cover it up with a new post.

Lesson Learnt: Have a Healthy Disregard for the Impossible

Another one bites the dust. A sad day in the history of MCP clan.

Disregarding Tingu's philosophy about marriage (Tingu's philosophy or rather Bullshitosophy - There is happiness in life and then there is marriage), Motu has finally decided to put his head under the guillotine called 'Marriage'. After a long seven years (I may be wrong about the years, but who cares) of courtship, Motu has tested positive for the disease called marriage. His life is over now, if I may add with some masochistic pleasure (c'mon folks it hurts). The symptoms of the disease in Motu have started to show up very often now, such as: plans to buy microwave, dining table, etc. Who on earth talks like that man. If marriage wasn't scary enough for me, it has become even scarier as I am watching my friend suffer from it. God bless him. Two minutes of silence in the rememberance of the 'Cool Boy Jay'.

Anyways, it has been long and you guys deserve an update on our lives. This is an update starting January 1, 2007. Now the question is that 'What happened before that?'. So my question to you folks is that are you guys really interested, if yes, then let us know. We will think about writing some stuff in next ten years. We love you all.

Motu:
Do I need to say more about him? He went to the love of his life (only 7000 miles from India and 20 degrees colder place) to meet the death of his bachelorhood (for christsake man, was he nuts? They are right when they say that 'Love is Blind'. I personally think it is deaf, dumb, and retarded as well.) and came back with the engagement ring. Engagement ring, doesn't the ring of it sound scary? Sounds like the equivalent of SUFFERring (agreed. I picked it up from somwhere. Don't start screaming folks.). Apart from that small bachlors-life-ending incident, life has been rocking for him. Tons of beer, dance, smoke; we get into the details a lil later.

Tingu:
Life has been a mixed bag for our little pest. He has gone through the horrible experience of being a part of two marriage and has religiously prayed for the peace of the two dead men. For the new year, it was amazing and awsome mountains in India. All in all, things have not been bad. I am sure you folks will get some comments about it from Motu. (By the way I am publishing this blog in his absence so that I can avoid his editing bit.)

DR. Troy:
Life has been a teacher for DR. Troy. He has been taught the most critical lesson for his life as described below:

Bullshitosophy of Life: Life can be beautiful without friends. Their company may not always do you good. I have to confess that myself and Motu have done our best to teach him this.

So as you guys may have gathered that we are taking good care of our friend DR. Troy. Our friend has understood the essence of this lesson and has moved out of Delhi with us wishing him Good Luck and Good Riddance.

Time to introduce some more characters in the dramatic lives of 'Three Nuts in Delhi'.

Harmu: A very beautiful girl who is the apt epitome of this fact about girls.

Bullshitosophy about Girls: The beauty and brains are inveresely proportional to each other in Girls. Girls if you understood the meaning of 'inversely proporotional' then congratulations you are safe from Mankind (no one wud ever bother you) and if you did not then my number is +91 9999 2298 34. I love dumb females.

Bebe (or baby): A very beautiful girl again but with some signs of brains (Harmu: stop screaming. There are exceptions to all the rules.) and bebe don't be elated by no comments on you. Your time shall come as well.

Tarzan: Again, the name says it all. Wild at heart and otherwise as well. DOn't believe me, then wait till the time I post his dancing videos.

We will give you updates on our new characters regularly. There is a lot to talk about otherwise as well.

So may God bless all.

Tingu
(Reality keeps ruining my life)

P.S. Bullshitosophy: Motu, seeking revenge is sinful. Don't you ever do that.

We are back!!

Ah Folks....Don't cork off the champagne yet. You guys are just so impatient. You all have waited for only 10 months, you can wait a little longer.

Ok, serious stuff.

The office of Three Nuts in Delhi announces that the next blog can be expected anytime in the next 2 weeks.

Check if you care, as we don't.

Chow Chow
The Office of Three Nuts in Delhi
(The Men Who Laugh at Women's Clothes have Never Ever Paid the Bills for Them.)

Monday Mourning - Death of a Cozy Weekend

I hate Mondays from the very bottom of my gut, I am sure the feeling is universal (May be you hate it from some other part of your body, but the point is you hate it). The whole thought about going to work after a cozy (May be rocking or funny or flirtatious or lovely for all you guys) weekend makes me suicidal and I start looking for DR. Troy. As you can make out by now (Make out as in ‘understand’ folks, I mean what’s wrong with you guys), I’m in a Balls-to-the-world-but-just-not-mine kinda mood. And giving you guys a peek into our lives over the past few weekends now seems like a bloody pain, but anyways I know it is for a cause (though a lost one), i.e., ‘Troy’. Oh!! Troy, why are u such a Dumbass? I would have let you write, but with your linguistic skills, you would have to outsource the writing of a ‘love letter to your girlfriend’, if it ever came to that.

So Folks!! If you remember the lady tornado from our last blog, she lived up to the true meaning of a tornado. She came, conquered, and left (Only for a while, if I can add). Our lady tornado had to leave for a couple of weeks and in a normal situation I would have thanked my stars, guys, after all it was a tornado. But not in this case, the kite called Tingu, flying high with the tornado, looked like a grounded child (Damn, I have just realized he doesn’t look any different anyways. Imaging a 16 year old kid with some beard, that’s him and believe me, he is older than that.). Actually, I thanked heavens that he was quiet for a change (In other words, he had stopped dishing out crap, which was a welcome change.) and god I loved it (Tingu: Yeah!! he would love it, cause he is at the receiving end most of the times. I love the editing part folks.); but it got a lil boring after some time (Tingu: So it tells you that he loves crap, doesn’t it?).

So, in my attempt to cheer him up, I thought of a party, a party to be called ‘BROODING BEGINS’. I even called up two friends Rose and Lisa and they loved the idea of the party and catching up (Ok Ok!! I will be honest; they loved the idea of molesting Tingu in an un-sexual way, because he does it (Molestation without sex thrown into it) all the time.). Guess what, we even got a cake which promptly said “BROODING BEGINS” and made Tingu cut it (And you guys were worrying if we were friends or not, I think this one makes it crystal clear, No!!!). The cake did not cheer him up much (for some unknown reason, I think, he was a little angry), but the look on his face was worth it (Obviously for us).

A couple of beers later, we brave ourselves (Why the word “brave ourselves” right!! you have to drive in the Delhi traffic to understand it.) to go out to Priya’s. I have absolutely no idea why we go places to hang around? It made sense in school when u are really tight on cash and friends are shying away even from your shadow. Then you plunge into your or your friend’s reserves (Emotional blackmail is the key guys), only if u had to buy a gift to impress a new girl or save a relationship (Only because you don’t have any in the pipeline and you are scared of the tag ‘STAG’.). But now, we are all grown up. Cash is still tight (I think, it would be tight even if I was bill gates) and we are Stags at times, but the credit card companies have been merciful. But, then, if your friend is driving, and you know, u would not have to cook for the evening, there is no way in the hell that I would sit back at home. However, only if I had known that Lisa drives the way she drives, I would have walked till Priya. Sadly, life does not give me that many chances, and now I’m sure I have sinned enough.

I am back, back again (guys that’s the background music for the entry of Tingu. I just could not stay at the background anymore.).

I am back and I will be MEAN (With ‘an’ being silent) as usual..

Lisa, ha!!, she should have been a philosopher as she can preach effectively and that too quickly. She taught a guy (One who she almost introduced to god.) that life is beautiful and you get it only once so take care of it, damn! can’t think of a more effective way of doing it. Lisa you are great, C’mon sweetheart, I have to vent it out at some point of time. The second lesson was to us, which was “GIRLS CAN’T DRIVE FOR SHIT, THEY JUST CAN’T!!!” (Hold it down girls, I can hear the shrieks.) After the scooter-shattering-incident and a-lil-less-than-sorry lisa and not-wanting-to-but-trying-to-cheer-lisa-up-acts for an hour, we reached priya and everything looked beautiful. I was alive God-damn-it!! I looked at Lisa my GURU and thanked her (Obviously not explicitly, I just told you that I was happy to be alive.).

We were just about to leave Priya, however, just then my eyes stopped on some really cute things and then I went crazy. I walked up to the one which I thought could fit my size (Size of what? Is that the question? Do you guys know what Tingu means?). I settled for the one that fit me snugly and then we all left together. Huh, by the way, did I miss telling u guys as to what the “thing” was (If I did, it was intentional)? Ok, Ok, use ‘Tshirts’ instead of ‘things’ (as my eyes stopped on some really cute things) and now read it again, (Now what were you thinking?) Ok enough of entertainment guys…I give it back to boring motu…hey motu…here goes the baton... But before that I need to tell you guys, what was special about the Tshirt:

Front of the Tshirt read: THANK GOD FOR CREATING WOMEN!!!

back of the tshirt read: OR ELSE WHO WOULD DO THE CLEANING, WASHING, AND COOKING (Damn!!! You girls shriek a lot, what’s wrong with you. You never said anything to the quote at the front.)

I think situation is getting a lil out of hand and I should leave!!.

Huh, why the hell should I get the baton, I’d rather settle for bacon anyday.

Anyway, from Priya we went to India Gate, well, after Rang de Basanti, India Gate seems like a cool hang out spot. It is really majestic. And there are times that I feel proud about it and there are times when I feel sad about it. Proud, because, it is a standing tribute to the bravery of the Indian Soldier; Sad, because, why would and Indian have to fight an all – European war? (Tingu: Simple because we were ruled by British and they paid us to fight? Motu, we did not have a choice and let us stop at saluting the bravery of our men!!!)

Huh? What has got into me? Why, do I feel that I’m making too much sense. (Do you guys feel the same too, or is it just me? Tingu: Do I need to even bother answering this?) What the hell? Coming back to India gate, the best thing about India gate is that you get big balloons (The ones that u inflate – Don’t get any ideas guys!!) and other silly things, which any of the guys wouldn’t dare been seen with on a regular day. But this was not a regular day, this was the beginning of BROODING.

All four of us, me, Tingu, Rose and Lisa, played with the balloons (The ones that you inflate; again – what’s wrong with you guys), made soapy bubbles, took digs at each other. By the time it ended, everybody was sorry to go back home. Well, I am not too sure about the others, but I surely was sorry, I was going back home with Tingu (Tingu: And believe me guys the feelings were very mutual and damn the first day of brooding…Motu doesn’t even know how close he came to being killed?), (The point to be noted was there was no more beer left in the house.)

Time flies, when you work like an Ass. Holi comes by, and I knew it is gonna be a messy affair. Come on, how much do u think, a pig would like a mud fight? Now swap, the pig for Tingu and the rest of things would remain the same. So, on Holi, after our relatively filthy Holi, (it involved breaking eggs on each other’s heads and throwing Troy in the gutter, not so bad huh? Tingu: I felt sorry for the gutter, bloody Troy ruined it!!) After TROY, we decided to go to Rose’s place. After a good session of transforming Rose from a girl to a lady Frankenstein, we met Rose’s sister and the first thing which she said was ‘Why do you guys smell of eggs?’.

Rose’s aunt committed a mistake of inviting, not inviting actually, just asking us if we have had food. The kind of hunger-stricken we are, (Don’t you see natgeo as they still show Troy in it to depict poverty and hunger in India.), all of us jumped at the idea. After pretending-to-talk-and-waiting-for-food for a while, it finally came. I could not stop eating and all the guys couldn’t help making passes (i.e. passing more food to Motu…yeah it’s Tingu again!). I really thank my stars that, they did not start a betting portal “When would Motu stop?” (If I was in their shoes, I couldn’t let that pass for sure, but then, the question is, would I fit into their shoes? Tingu: Another question is that how do you know that there was no betting involved, didn’t you realize I was suddenly rich the next day?)

Guys all that was just a part of the story, the real story comes up now. Troy, yes absolutely good for nothing Dr. Troy has got a girl. Now, if you guys don’t know Troy, u must be asking, what is there to be surprised about in this? Imagine that you have a Doberman; starve him for 15 days, how scary would he look? And now imagine how would the Doberman jump at food when he sees it? Troy looks like the Doberman and jumps at girls the same way the Doberman would jump at food. But now all that has changed, Dr. Troy is the hunk today! Yeah, like Eddie Murphy was voted the sexiest man on earth.

Tingu: I can’t help not saying anything about it. Motu! What on-earths-name happened to your bloody ego. Folks! I think I have a better explanation for the entire thing. It is just the matter of perspectives. I will help you folks, don’t worry you have me always; I am your friend after all. Coming back to Troy, there are to way of saying things, I will give you examples:

Way 1: I Loved her!!
Way 2: I was Loved by her!!

Way 1: I have loved her!!
Way 2: I have been loved by her!!

I think that’s subtle enough. If you don’t understand even now (I hate to say it but you are dumb-asses!!), replace Love by any verb like walk, eat, f**k, etc, and Way 1 is the version Motu believes in and Way 2 is the version I can bet my ass on. So long folks, keep in touch. And yes, Troy is my friend!!

Girls: Love you all in the most non-platonic way!!!
Guys: Love you all in the most platonic way!!!

Man, how the hell did I manage to write so much (Tingu: Obviously with my help meathead!)? Ah, maybe its already Thursday, hehe. So guys, keep watching this space, cos Tingu is gonna let you people know about his “Brooding Ends” party the next time.

Tingu: If you are reading even this then I think I should ask you one question, “what the hell is wrong with you?”.

You are my angel

Heard some-god-knows-who say, “A gush of fresh air is good for your mind, body, and soul”, but we wonder what would you say about a tornado of fresh air? I hope tornado can be used to personify a girl or else please read hurricane (whatever fits folks, help urself, I mean I am no Webster!!). Damn! This is the problem of having an unusually smart brain, you just think about too many things at a time.

So coming back to the tornado or hurricane or whatever-works-for-everybody; over this last weekend, we have been in the middle of a tornado which literally swept me and Motu (you know motu right? If you don’t, then pray that god shall continue being kind to you) off our feet. And I think especially me (not that it is difficult anyway), I have been running away all my life from two things, and both of them are staring at me right on my face now. Neither I know how it happened nor do I know how I let it happen. But the bloody point is that yes it has happened, yeah the lightening has struck folks, and I never realized what I was getting into. Now it is pain and pleasure at the same time, I never realized love came with a price. Now I just can’t think of anything else but just my huge credit card bill. God, how would I ever pay it? Why you guys are swearing at me, ah! Alas, nobody likes good humor these days.

Anyways so let me really tell you guys about the tornado (I know, I have been entertaining you all, but I can’t continue bullshitting guys. C’mon I am writing this blog for HER, yes, it is HER!). Romans and country men!! One of the legendary “Three Nuts in Delhi” is on the verge of cracking and, damned-if-he-knows-why, but he likes it. I mean for me it is like the age-old missionary position, with me lying down and funnily enjoying it.

So guys, here is the truth, I have tested positive for a disease and I am in my last stages. Our god-knows-of-what expert DR. Troy tells me that my condition is bad and may only get worse.
So let me end it ok, most of us at some point in our lives have been infected by a madness called feeling-of-being-in-love (I know the madness has continued from the first blog). And this time cupid has turned his eyes on my ass, damn him. Guys, i am eating, sleeping, working, drinking only one thing Love. You are my angel my darline angel!!!!

Jai, why the hell you snatching the lap from me!!!

Bloody hell, Tingu, would you ever learn to finish what you have started? I don’t think its gonna be an all Tingu post this time. Well, we all wanted him to write, we have realized that we might have to wait for the next blue moon. Well, frankly, he’s been swept by a lady tornado, and that’s not his fault (If I had a chance I would be swept too, but I guess I’m too heavy to budge. Imagine a tornado struggling to budge a Japanese Sumo Fighter, yeah you guys are right, it is me Tingu again.). We would like to call her an Angel. Tingu is so mesmerized by her that he wouldn’t mind me even calling her Mother Teresa. He is a total sucker for her. Hey, don’t get me wrong, both I and DR troy are also dead suckers for her too, but Tingu beats us hands down (Well we put our hands down and he beats us up.).

Friday night, 11:00 clock: I’m waiting in the middle of the road for Tingu and Angel. The police van comes by and asks me as to what I was doing? They were looking at me as if I were a Gigolo waiting to hook someone up. Encouraged, I looked at the mirror in my car. Disheveled hair, unshaven, a “little” paunch (I am not going to accept anything more than a “little”, so Tingu, don’t try to edit this. Tingu says - Motu, who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?), any girl’s (Tingu says - haha, did you say girl's, I would say even guys draw inspiration from your little belly) nightmare. Yeah, I looked myself.

Well, half an hour and a couple of cigarettes later, both Tingu and Angel arrived and we headed home. Tingu has been eyeing my Dad’s prized bottle of Russian Vodka for some time now. So, we thanked my dad and both of them (angel and tingu) prayed for me. I know it won’t help; I’ve started practicing walking with crutches already.

Some vodka and a couple of dances with Angel, I promise to go boating with them the next day. Well, I guess a couple of shots of vodka and a sweet girl just makes me go weak in the knees, but then, which guy doesn’t?

All of a sudden, I hear, “Hey Motu, gimme a darn ciggi!”

“But u don’t smoke, hell, u don’t even know how to hold a bloody cigarette.” I said. But Tingu was in no mood to listen. Well, I was in no mood to argue either, so I let one cigarrette go waste for tingu's cause. (Tingu - For god's sake Motu, you have to show your face to God one day, so stop lying man!!)

The next day, we went for the boating and believe me it was more than just that. I mean what would you say to two lakes without water (Tingu - the place looked as if boating was a prehistoric activity), place full of monkeys (Tingu - with and without clothes and believe me the ones with the cloths on were a lil too irritating). We realized at the end of the day that evolution has not been complete and not all of us have moved on.

Yaaaawwwwnnnn!! I think I should go off to sleep. The lunch was too heavy. It just feels so awsome dozing off at work. The feeling is similar to earning a million dollars (Tingu - Not that he has earned it, but is there a tax in saying it. I guess not, so guys I can only pity you all for all the crap he is dishing out. What did you ask, are we friends? Yes, very much and what a stupid question?).

The madness begins

Hi, everybody!! I don’t know why am I writing this? I surely do have better work to do than write up some crap, which probably no-one would read (however, when I say this I am really hoping that I will have a tremendous fan following after this blog). And any-which-way, I’m sure that I’m no Dan Brown who can put down a page turner. Some people even call him an ‘eyebrow raiser’, I have absolutely no idea why? I thought that Penthouse Letters can raise a lot more eyebrows than him. Ummmm!!! Well!! Frankly they can raise a lot MORE than just eyebrows. Anyway, anyone, who has already read this much would sure know us personally and if you don’t then I am curious about you. I would like to know a lil more about you like age, sex, and location.

So coming back to my bloody blog.

I am sure we all have better things to do! Of course I mean YOU too. I could sit and study for my GMAT (Yeah Right!), shut up and continue with my Bacardi, even clean up my room; and if I had to badly write something I could have written a letter to my girlfriend. The MCP in me badly wanted to say ‘girlfriends’, but I ran the risk of my GF reading this someday and something especially which is not true (Damn the fucking Bacardi, is it some kind of truth serum?). So I said Balls to my MCP friend and bade adieu to my bruised EGO. So coming back to the point, my GF surely would have been happy with a long letter. But NO!! Here am I, writing something which I am not sure of as to what it is, to someone I am not sure of who it is, and for some unknown ‘God-Knows’ reason. But I guess, these are the things that a couple of shots of Bacardi on a lonely night (lonely as in NO GIRLS) can do to you. – And especially if you have a Pest friend (just to clear some air, P is not a spelling mistake) editing it after six shots of Vodka.

I know I am making you guys curious about my motley bunch of friends so let the curtains raise and the characters get introduced for the freaking play called “THREE NUTS in DELHI”.

- DR. Troy (Sounds fancy eh! WAIT TILL YOU KNOW BETTER)
- Tingu (Pests are tiny, aren’t they?)
- Motu (Loves beer and even looks it!)

Now Vodka (or was it Bacardi?) and PINK FLOYD is getting into Tingu’s head (not that he understands Floyd!) and he is asking me funny questions, like ‘why are we writing this blog?’ and ‘what are we writing it for?’, all of which are making my Vodka and Floyd disappear in thin air (not that I understand Floyd either!). Damn! God knows, why is he doing this to me (How do we kill a Pest?)? So the question is To Be or Not To Be (wow! Shakespeare makes sense after Vodka!). Ah! Damn it, I’d rather pass the buck to Tingu himself and he can try and make some sense. Well!!, he has never managed it in his 24 years of his life, so you guys are definitely in SAFE HANDS!

Guys!! I am a lil corny today, so please bear with me because I am gonna tell you something which all of us already know! But just that we are planning to do something about it! So here it goes:

Some great philosophers once said (who else but me and Motu, Yeah! we are very self-critical!)

Life happens to you only once. All of us know that life changes all the time and it is not gonna be same some years down the line so and all of us try to live it the fullest as and when it comes.

We are trying to create a permanent platform where all of us (including you guys) can get together and share our madness. Yeah! That’s about it!!

OH SHIT!! It is 4:30 in the morning!!

Hey Troy WAKE UP!!! Do the bloody dishes! We gotta have our dinner now!!!