Smoking While Traveling at 150 Kms per hour – That is Life

Warning: This is a not-so-interesting update on our last weekend (January 28, 2007), so folks please have patience.

January 26th is the day when India became a republic. Don’t know if it was the nationalistic fervor in us or was it the feeling of being bored-to-death-on-a-Sunday-evening or was it the hangover of the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’ or the hope of a nice evening or may be all of this put together; we started from the den of loonies in Delhi to salute the India Gate. However, we were late for the Republic Day celebrations by only 38 hours. But folks, what matters the most is the feeling right so we headed for the India gate.

‘We’…hmmm. I say the word and think hard. Wow - a word, so small, can signify so much: the togetherness of a couple, a bunch of loonies in Delhi, a nation, a continent, a planet, a solar system. Such power in something so SMALL. Still not convinced. Wait till the time you see me (wink wink). Anyways, I guess it is the time to come back from my egotrip (ahem). So where were we…

So we, i.e., Motu, Harmu, Tingu, and Tarzan, started from our good old house (with our neighbors wishing us – good riddance and hoping that we won’t return till eternity. We obviously did return to their disappointment) towards bebe’s god-knows-where-place-in-Delhi to pick her up for the sojourn. Curious about our neighbors attitude, imagine living next to two crack-heads with some crazy fetish for loud music irrespective of the time and occasion. I guess you get the idea.

So let us get started on our drive to fun (or so to say)…to India Gate…..We started with the bang, the only difference was that bang had taken a human form as Motu. He was in a mood to rock us and so he did (did not even leave the car, which would dance with everyone of his moves – he weighs just 95). He loves singing, nothing wrong with that. He sings with his heart with utter disregard to the tune, singer, voice modulation, and most importantly other people’s comfort (God how I wish, his girl should listen him sing once, I’m sure she will start having third thoughts about getting married to him. Third Thoughts? Yeah, as I am sure she already is having second thoughts). But he is our friend, so we let him sing (not that he would stop anyways – so as they say, if you are getting raped and can’t do anything about it, enjoy it). Me and Tarzan joined motu in the chorus, just trying to enjoy the rape, and boom goes harmu – “Guys, what kind of dogs you are?” – pat goes Tarzan – “German Shepherds”.

So after enjoying the orgy-cum-more-rape-minus-sex for 40 minutes, we finally got to our destination and waited with clear instructions that nobody comes out of the car.

Bullshitosophy about Girls: The more they want to meet you the more they will make you wait.

Bebe is the epitome of this bullshitosophy of three loonies, her best so far is two and half hours – and believe me she is trying to get better. IST – Indian Stretchable Time, Indians are definitely worse than neggars man!!After waiting for not-willing-to-specify time, the girl hopped in and we were on our way again. We were a happy bunch for couple of seconds and I thought things can only get better now. As soon as the thought came in my head, Bebe started cooing. And damn, realization dawned upon me that she was in the mood to rape as well – rape us all; and Motu suddenly had company. We somehow got to India Gate with very weak ear drums.

In front of India Gate, for some nano-seconds, I felt very nationalistic. The place is absolutely majestic and makes you think. But I was not willing to stay with that feeling for long. At the end of our short stay at Gates, Motu had a lot of fun blowing (literally). Blowing water bubbles is such fun, hmmmmm. What are you folks smiling at, you okay people?

Started again from India gate and got to the expressway and then we took off. Traveling at the speed of 150 KMs per hour (with car’s windows open) and smoking. Wow, folks this is one thing which you all should try. It was crazy, girls screaming their hearts out, and boys laughing/smoking their way to glory. Jesus, it was great. Tarzan, way to go boy, we should try it again. Did I miss the part about alcohol. Bebe was already having an hangover and we guys were having fun with some good beer and wine. Rose took the advice from the Scottish News daily too seriously – Women Warned: Drink Less to Avoid Rape (she should have known better, Motu had the last laugh – patience folks!!)

After landing back, we stopped at a lonely road and then came the best part. Amazing music, thanks to Tarzan, started blaring out of the car’s speakers and we started dancing on the roads under the moonlight. It was absolutely crazy and wonderful. It was amazing fun. We took turns to dance with each other and it was absolutely fun. Even more so for Rose, I guess. Motu was trying some balldancing with her and she was laughing her way to glory. God-knows-what she was laughing at, may be she was feeling a lil girly or may be it was hard for her to fathom the fact that Motu was trying balldance with her. Imagine a Sumo Wrestler trying balldancing with 36-24-36, I guess you get the picture.

Can’t finish before talking about Malaise. Motu - first of all, one of things which this word means is - A vague feeling of discomfort, one that cannot be pinned down but is often sensed as "just not right." Now consider these facts about yourself – you are thinking about buying microwave, dining table, and god-knows-what-else. You go to a departmental store and you appreciate the crockery, curtains, covers, bed-sheets (for Christ-sake man), etc. Now consider this – as a 25 year old guy – I (including Tarzan) generally think about things like alcohol, parties, girls, sex (trying-to-molest-rose does not count as sex), etc, etc. YOU ARE 25 YEARS OLD AS WELL. Now do you get the feeling that something is “just not right” with you (you asked me to be subtle, can’t be more subtle). If yes, then there is still some hope for your; if No, then mate, I already miss my buddy Motu.

At the end – I should also say something about the evening. For a change I will stop being Mean, my dear loonies (including two girls) it was an amazing night, amazing friends (I wish it stays like this forever..stop gasping rose, I can be nice at times…), booze, cigarettes, amazing music, and living every moment like there is no tomorrow. It was just amazing. Troy, miss you mate. Ahem, what’s wrong with me?
That’s All Folks

Tingu
(Reality Keeps Ruining My Life – There is Happiness in Life and Then There is Marriage)